Let me warn you, this isn’t a typical post for my blog, it’s a sad-heartfelt one.
A post about desolation, despair, disappointment, frustration, utter sadness and disbelief.
This is a growing sorrow that’s been eating me since last year, but in the making for longer, thought I would see the light by the end of summer but winter came like a tiger tearing all my hope apart and turning my dreams to shame.
For the past 5-6 years I’ve been throwing hints on the months leading to my birthday and Christmas to see if anyone would give me one of the things I’ve always* wanted and most importantly, NEED.
But nobody seems to care anymore and I say care because I refuse to believe they don’t get the hints, this past Christmas I was really bold, I expressively said what I wanted.
Did it work?
Of course not!!!
You have to understand my journey, my struggle, I’m usually tired and as every other person I hate waiting in line or standing while riding mass transportation.
First I thought about adopting a baby to avoid lines and standing, because nobody gives a seat to a healthy looking man even tho he’s decrepit in the inside, unless that is, if he’s holding a baby.
But it turns out adopting is complicated and feeding a baby is just too expensive and as many of you know I’m financially challenged.
Brothers and sisters, it was eyeopening, an epiphany almost, a message from God of course, because a baby wouldn’t be fine with me, so he sent Reborn Dolls to Earth for a reason.
I was in awe when a woman was showing the collection of clothes and strollers she had for her Reborn Daughter, I was imagining myself entering the bank holding my Reborn still smelling like rubber and heading to the special line for baby holders (is that a thing?) or waiting for people to just let me go ahead with my baby.
Riding the train in rush hour?
“Sir, would like to sit?”
I would first say I was ok while reassuring my Reborn just to get people to insist and then gladly take the spot.
Yes, I’ve pictured all scenarios, what if someone wants to hold my Reborn you may be thinking.
He’s a sickling, rare skin condition, please keep off! (all while shedding a fake tear, who knows someone would set a GoFund Me to help me and my baby).
I nearly gave up this dream, but then AppleTV released the show Servant and my desire to be a Reborn dad just grew.
Is anyone out there with a heart big enough to help my dreams come true? (aka buying me a reborn, if it cries even better)
Am I batshit crazy or just a simple guy with simple functional dreams?